Back in September 2015, one of my good friends, Jessica (who I feel is very intuitive and very in touch with the spirit) asked me if I was pregnant? I was a little shocked and said no. Because to my knowledge, I wasn't! It was right around the time for my "monthly cycle" and within about 5 days and not starting, I decided to buy some pregnancy tests. I took them a day apart and both came out negative. Well about 5 or so days later and STILL no sign of a monthly visitor I took another test (at this point i was probably over a week and 1/2 late.... POSITIVE! I was shocked. Then took another test a few hours later. Still positive! haha!
I was excited and confused a little at why it hadn't shown up earlier. I left the test on the back of the toilet for Brett to discover when he came home from work. He was surprised as well because technically we hadn't been "trying." I knew it was time though. After miscarrying at 6 weeks back in March I took some time to focus on me for a bit. I jumped into a very active and healthy lifestyle with a BeachBody program called 21 Day Fix. I was working out 6 days a week, eating healthy and feeling great mentally and physically. Heck, I even had some muscles I hadn't seen in a long time!! That was a great starting point for me to begin this pregnancy... and because of some new found confidence I gained, I started throwing around the idea of doing a natural birth, no epidural. A dear friend of mine who has done 3 hypnobirths, gave me her vote of confidence as well and I was excited to prepare myself for a challenge! I set a goal to workout 6 days a week throughout my whole pregnancy to be able to have a strong and healthy, natural delivery. Also to try my best to stick to the clean eating plan I had been doing for the last 4 months.
Luckily I have pretty "easy" pregnancies... I get feeling a little yucky in the beginning but it's nothing like throwing up or being bed-ridden. I still set my alarm Monday-Saturday to get up before my family and get my workout in. There were a few days where I hit snooze on the alarm or shut it off all together, but I still made sure to get my workout in at some point in the morning. I was amazed at how good I felt.... and even though I was tired, I was able to make it through my days with energy enough to not need a nap (something that I did A LOT of in previous pregnancies).
When i started feeling yucky I had some serious aversions to veggies. That didn't bode well with my nutrition plan!! The thought of touching a green pepper made me nauseous! Veggies and hummus were one of my daily snacks and hummus no longer sounded good either. Other than that I could still eat most things. Sometimes preparing chicken made me queasy... but not as bad as it has in past pregnancies. One thing that I started to love which I never had truly liked before was cottage cheese! I started eating it daily!
During my first trimester I had serious headaches EVERY SINGLE DAY. At about 2pm every day I could count on a slamming headache that lasted a couple hours. My midwife thought at first maybe it was dehydration...but I was drinking a ton of water. So then she thought maybe lack of electrolytes because of so much water and daily exercise so she had me drinking gatorade. But that didn't help. I just popped a Tylenol each day and pushed through. It was terrible and I was not a happy camper! THANKFULLY the headaches went away at about 14 weeks.
My midwife expressed some concerns early on with my placenta being low. She checked it at each appointment by ultrasound. It wasn't "previa" (covering the cervix) but low enough that she thought it might become a problem when I was in labor and dilating. As the pregnancy went on and I got further along, the placenta still wasn't moving up. She told me she thought I was going to need a C-Section which really upset me. After preparing for a hypnobirth that was quite dis-heartening. She told me she'd give me another few weeks then have the ultrasound tech do a special appointment to get a better look. It was on my mind non-stop and I had a little meltdown at my next appointment with my midwife. She could tell i was upset, so she had me schedule with the ultrasound tech right away instead of waiting any longer. After a few more days of anticipation I had my appointment, (32 weeks) and the tech gave me good news! Doing a regular scan made it look like things were a little sketchy for a normal vaginal delivery, but after an internal ultrasound she could see that the placenta was in NO way a problem for my original plan of action! She gave me the go-ahead to plan on a regular birth! I cried happy tears! These poor people that have to deal with such hormonal, emotional women on a daily basis!! haha! I gave her a huge hug! What a relief!
I felt pretty good overall throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I was able to workout 6 days/week clear up do the day I delivered. I walked on the treadmill 2-3x/week and did 21 Day Fix workout videos. I felt really strong and prepared for a natural birth. May 5th @ 8:30 pm my water broke... i was shocked because I was still 12 days out till my due date. I questioned if it was really my water breaking or not... but it would gush every minute or so, so i knew that's what it was. But i wasn't "ready!!!!"
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Pregnancy with Burke
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Baby Burke's Birth Story
Cinco de Mayo....2016....8:15 pm. That's when the action started (little did i know the big climax wasn't going to actually happen for 21 more hours). I'm guessing my water breaking had something to do with a spicy cinco de mayo dinner dish?! Who will ever know?!
Brett was getting kids ready for bed. I had just gone to the bathroom less than minutes before and was headed out the door to the store to grab a baby shower gift for an Anderton cousin gathering happening the next night. I grabbed my keys...and gush. Ummmm did I just pee my pants?! I'm pretty sure I JUST went to the bathroom less than 2 minutes ago! I stood there for a second, in slight shock (never have had my water break before). Then another gush. I walked upstairs, sat on the toilet to see if I did in fact need to pee... or if this was the real deal. Another gush. Great. I was totally not prepared. My due date was still 12 days away. No hospital bag ready. No plan of action for the kids. Was I ready for this hypnobirth I'd been practicing for and relaxing/breathing through each night? Brett and I hadn't done a lot together in the "hypnobirth" sense to prepare either. I started stressing.
I walked into the boys' room where Brett was reading the kids a bedtime story. Quietly I say, "Ummmm, I think my water just broke." And in reply I get a, "what the hell?" Ha ha! Apparently it wasn't good timing for him either???! Yeah, with a towel between my legs, I assure him it did. Ike climbed up into my lap and snuggled right in. Normally I get a hug and kiss and little snuggle, then he's off to bed. Nope. Not that night. He was all sorts of clingy. He then kept wanting more books, more songs, more rocking (super awkward as i'm 9 months pregnant on the floor with him in my lap). He asked me to lay in bed with him (not normal), so I climbed up with a towel between my legs and granted his wish. I sang him a few more songs and the TEARS started flowing! He was gently touching my chin and my cheeks as we shared his pillow. He KNEW that something was happening (not that I had even said anything to the boys about what was actually happening in that moment). I honestly believe he wanted some special one on one time for his last night of being "the baby." So soaked it all in, and soaked his pillow in silent tears while I was at it! I just have to say I am so thankful for those sweet moments he gave me. Heaven knows my mind was racing about all the things that were about to go down, and snuggling in my toddler's bed wasn't on my short-term to do list! But what a special memory it is now. And who knew that in less than 24 hours my "baby" would look like a full grown human next to his tiny baby brother!
So now, back to business! The only real experience I've kept in my mind of "water breaking" is that of my own mother's when she went into labor with ME! Her water broke and I arrived about an hour and 1/2 later! So, naturally, in my mind, we were having a baby in less than 2 hours. BUT... I wasn't really having any contractions. None to cause much discomfort anyway. And none that were consistent enough to start timing. I called my mom, just to give her a heads up that we might be needing her to come up in the middle of the night and be with the kids, so to pack a bag just in case. I started, haphazardly, packing a bag of my own as well! I was wandering aimlessly... so confused. I mean... my water broke. How was I not having hard contractions, or feeling like this is going to happen at any time?! It was really weird for me, mentally. I knew I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. Brett said I should to lay down and try to rest. In my head all I could think was that I shouldn't fall asleep because then all of a sudden I'm going to wake up just in time to give birth to a baby.... at home. No thanks!!!
Around 11 pm contractions started coming a little closer together so I called Mom back and told her to just come up. I tried to go to bed a just before, and practice my relaxation techniques. Brett was obviously sawing logs immediately. How can men just do that?!?!?! I lay there, keeping track of each contraction: 11:40...11:54...12:02...12:08...12:17...12:23...12:26...12:33...12:47...12:58...I'm thinking, this is getting good, it's happening. Then they tapered off. 1:18... and about every 10 minutes for a while... but nothing that ever made me catch my breath. They were easy to breathe through. I was still awake at 3am, went downstairs for a drink and my sweet mom was still awake too. I'm sure just anticipating what was to come. So, I sat next to her on the couch and we chatted for about an hour... until I heard Brett coming down the stairs. He looks at both of us like we're crazy! "Why aren't you sleeping?" Ummmm.... hard to explain!
I did finally go to bed and I think I got a couple hours of sleep before Emri was up getting ready for school. By the time she went to school it had been 12 hours since my water broke. I was starting to get nervous. I knew they were going to want me to come into the hospital. As I was up and moving around in the morning, I was having stronger contractions. At 9am I called my dr office and told them the details, when water broke and that there was no real consistency with contractions. I asked if it was ok for me to stay and labor at home for a while. They said i needed to get into the hospital to make sure everything was ok--and that the baby needs to be delivered by 24 hours from when my water broke to avoid the risk of infection.
Today was a day I had been looking forward to with Jet... as it was the "Mother's Tea Party" at preschool. It is seriously THE sweetest thing they do each year. They have a program all planned and they sing to and serve juice and cookies to the moms. I cry. It's the cutest!!! But, there was no way I'd be able to go... it started at 10:30. I still currently had a towel shoved between my legs and was being told I needed to report to the hospital! My mom was so kind to fill in for me. BUT I was SO heartbroken. Lots of tears from this momma. Brett and I headed to Ogden, to McKay Dee Hospital. We got all checked into triage by 10 am. I was dilated to a 3+. That was pretty discouraging to hear, since at my previous appointment a couple days earlier, I was at a 3 already. So... in 12+ hours after my water breaking I hand't even progressed ONE whole centimeter. They confirmed my water did in fact break (I was pretty sure that was obvious, but I guess they have to check the pH to be sure) and by 10:45AM I was admitted. I requested no IV (this is seriously the worst part of it all for me), but they did still have to place the needle for a port in case of emergency. I just REALLY hate seeing that needle hanging there in my arm and the sweet/awesome nurse gave me this little sock type sleeve to slip over the IV sight so I couldn't see it. It was awesome! WHY had nobody else ever thought of that for my last 3 kid's deliveries?! Basically, she was my favorite nurse at that point!!
At 11am we were moved into the birthing suite for natural births. As we got situated I was introduced to my labor/delivery nurse, Shauna. This was a new experience. To be able to be up and about. Go to the bathroom. Walk around. No catheter, no IV tying me to a pole and bag of fluid. For a while I labored on the birthing ball at the end of my bed. I would have a strong contraction occasionally. Then I moved to the bed to see if anything would happen (thinking that's how all my other kids came, just by waiting in a bed! hah! No such luck!). So my nurse filled up the huge tub for me and thought we'd give that a try, in a different position to see if anything would happen. I still wasn't having a whole lot of action.
So, a little rewind/backstory. My dear friend Alli Copier has had 3 natural/hypnobirths and always talked about what a hard, but amazing experience it was to have her kids that way. Even before we ever got pregnant with Emri I was NEVER. LIKE EVER. interested in a natural birth! Hey, if the good Lord gave us modern medicine, then I for sure was going to take advantage of that! And I was happy with my decision for my first 3 kids. There was something different this time though when I found out I was pregnant that made me want to talk to Alli more about it and take the natural route. I felt like my body was strong and that I was up for a challenge! From about 6 weeks into my pregnancy I knew I wanted to try a hypnobirth. Having made that decision, it helped me stay on track to be fit and healthy throughout the entire pregnancy. I worked out 6 days a week, with the exception of maybe 3 or 4 times. I knew I had to be strong, physically, in order for the process to be as smooth as possible. Alli gave me all her books, cds, and info on hypnobirthing for me to read and practice. There was so much more about breathing (like 3 different styles, depending on what part of labor you were in) than I ever knew! I regularly practiced the breathing, and at nights I would fall asleep to the relaxation/hypno routines. Brett and I didn't do a whole lot together for the partner stuff. We kinda kept putting it off. I think we felt semi-comfortable with what to expect since it was the 4th rodeo! One time I jokingly asked Alli to be my "doula" for the delivery and she said she'd be happy to help me out if I felt like we needed her there. Ok.... now back to the delivery day....
I was getting frustrated and a little impatient. What the heck was going on with this little babe and why didn't my body want to cooperate?! I assumed that since each of my babies had come faster with each deliver, this guy would make an appearance within 5 hours or less from when my water broke. Our dear friend, Alli, had been in touch all day with us in between teaching her high school classes. I went back and forth, but decided to ask her to come and be there--maybe help me out mentally. This was kind of a hard decision. Brett and I have always been the only 2 in the delivery room. But I felt like her experience with the hypnobirth could help me out as I was getting pretty tired. She came maybe around 2pm or so?? At that time the nurse checked me and after 4 hours of being at the hospital, I had only progressed another centimeter. Now at a 4+. Not good news. Alli suggested walking through the halls, that that normally helped her. So Brett and I walked laps and HELLLLOOO! The contractions were then coming hard!!! We would stop with each one and I would lean up against the wall or against Brett to try and breathe through them in a "relaxed" manner. They were intense and becoming more frequent as we walked. I was having some MAJOR lower back labor. I wasn't feeling a whole lot of the contraction in my belly area, but just shooting through the lower back. We went back to the room where I got back on the birthing ball. Alli and Brett took turns tickling my hair (which is a huge relaxing thing for me) and rubbing my lower back. Then Brett and I did more hallway walking.
At 3:30pm the midwife, Karen McBride (not my midwife, but the one who would deliver me.... since my midwife happened to be out of town), came in and chatted with us and was concerned with my slow progression. She advised pitocin to speed things up if things didn't start happening soon. Pitocin was NOT in my birth plan and I got a little stressed when she acted like that would be the route things would be heading in soon. My nurse suggested a new position on the bed to see if it would help relieve some of my back labor (it was pretty painful). She told me to try laboring on my hands and knees. I was pretty open to any suggestions at this point! After only a few contractions in that position, I felt a strong urge to push, and knew things were starting to happen. Something changed in that moment and the nurse thought that maybe the baby had been in the wrong position and finally flipped. Now I was "transitioning" which was seriously WAY uncomfortable. Brett and the nurse were trying to get me to flip back over to my back which seemed like an impossible task at that point. The nurse checked me and I was now at an 7+. She called the midwife to come back in and they started getting the room all set up for delivery.
There was lots of "downward breathing" through the hard contractions. I got so hot all of a sudden, so sweaty! Brett and Alli fanned me, kept cold washcloths on my head, encouraged me, talked me through each breath to make it through transition. It was so painful. But after I had gone back onto my back, I wasn't progressing AGAIN like I had quickly been on my hands and knees. The nurse suggested laying on my side. HELLOOOO! Here we go again! I was like get. this. baby. OUT! Afterward, Alli told me it was less than 20 minutes from when I started pushing till deliver (I totally lost track of time). The pressure was so great and I wondered how in the world that baby was ever going to make an appearance?! I was so exhausted and felt like I had nothing more to give. Brett and Alli gave so much encouragement. I was trying to focus on my hypnobirthing CD and positive affirmations in the background and stay calm. Brett helped hold my top leg--i was SO SO tired and had no strength to do it! Finally I delivered his head and I think that's the moment I lost it. I was crying. Such intense pain. The shoulders were even harder. MORE PAIN! More crying! I remember telling them I couldn't do it. They encouraged me.... helped me count through breaths, reassured me that I was prepared and that my body knew what to do.... and also, it's not like I had any other option at that point! I was sweating to death! It HURT. I was TIRED. I was so wrapped up in the discomfort that all my breathing and relaxation techniques had gone out the window. BUT, for a brief moment of clarity, I had this thought come to me... "You wanted a natural birth, for a challenge. You worked so hard your whole pregnancy to stay fit and in shape. To be strong for this day. THIS VERY MOMENT!" I DID have strong legs. I DID have strong ab muscles surrounding that baby bump. This moment is what I had been working towards. I could get through this because I was prepared. My goal was to have a strong delivery and do it naturally. I was prepared. It was amazing the split seconds of clarity I had and it gave me strength to get through those final moments of intense craziness! An experience that will be one to remember!
5:04 pm, almost 21 hours from the time my water broke, baby boy was delivered!
7 lbs. 11 oz. 21 inches long.
I could barely even believe it! Brett leaned down and kissed me, several times over. So proud. I think Alli might have even leaned in and kissed my forehead! The bed was still laying flat but I had been turned over to my back at least when they set the baby on me. I think I was semi-in shock and trying to take it all in.
Perineum in tact--yay, for no stitches. It was such funny timing, but just after I delivered, my midwife asked me if I was a runner, or cycler??? Random. Then she commented on my "runner legs" and that they were nice and fit! haha! What a great compliment to have on the delivery bed! The placenta was delivered and the nurse, midwife, and post-delivery nurse all commented on how beautiful (what?? a beautiful placenta is a thing??) and how healthy and thick the cord and placenta were. HOORAY FOR STRIVING FOR GOOD HEALTH. They told me I should be really proud. It's kind of crazy how those few random compliments/comments, in such an odd place, made all those early morning pregnancy workouts and striving to be conscious of my food intake, seem so much more important than they seemed at the time! Although the post-delivery shakes were kicking in and I couldn't hold still, I felt pretty on top of the world.
I was able to snuggle and do kangaroo care with the babe for a few minutes then the nurse said his BP was a little low so she took him to the warming bed to assess. She cleared his airway which helped him improve, then handed him back to me. Within just a few minutes he was sucking his hand and rooting around so I nursed him and he latched right on like and ate his first feeding like a champ! (10 min on one side, 15-20 on the other). I'm so, so happy he's here and healthy. What a blessing. AND happy that that experience is over with!!
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Emri 7 Year Old Birthday Interview
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Jet's 5 Year Old Birthday Interview
Saturday, January 2, 2016
NEW YEAR'S EVE--HAPPY 2016!
